Alhamdulillah, with His inaiyah, I am here to write. All of sudden, I started to love writing. Who wouldn't love to write about their love story? I bet all of us love to write/tell about our love story.
Muhammad SAW, my beloved prophet. I love him because Allah SWT loves him and Allah is beautiful and He loves beautiful things. I still haven't get a chance to dream of Rasulullah SAW in my sleep. Who am I to have him in my dream... But, I cannot help to not ask for it. I am a sinner, and hope to be seen as a repent-er infront of Allah SWT.
I still have a lot of bad habits. Ya Allah, why am I too snobbish? Please pray for me. My target for now is to be a good daughter.. because Allah & His Messenger told us to be a good, solehah child. I don't know what is wrong with me, I always fail to be one. Everytime I tried, there's always something that will bring me to failure. Need to rekindle my imaan! Have to be more patient... I got angry easily. Astaghfirullah. The worst thing is, when I got angry, I remembered this hadith.. La taghdab, la taghdab, la taghdab. But why can't I stop being one. I remember HIM everytime I tend to do sin, but I still do it. Small or big, a sin is a sin. Please dear readers, pray for me. My mom always said...
"Solatlah banyak manapun, belajarlah ilmu tinggi-tinggi, tapi kalau derhaka dekat ibu bapa.."
Everytime she said this, I can feel the hotness of the hellfire. I am a slave, I wanted my lord, Allah SWT to be pleased with me. BUT! He wouldn't be pleased with me if my parents didn't. This is too hard, I cannot stand myself for not being a good daughter. I've tried and failed million times. I hope Allah will show me the way. Rasulullah said, the person we should be good to is our mother.. mother, mother, mother and father. I have no problem with my dad since he is a man and a man isn't as sensitive as woman. As for my mom, she can get hurt easily.
Last few days, I asked her to pray for me so that I can get straight A's. She replied by telling me, 'I will ask Allah to give you the best, He knows best. It's okay if you cannot get into college, it was TAQWA that I wanted.' She asked me to study for myself because of Allah.. not for A and not for diploma, degree, master and PhD. Now I know why she wasn't that proud when I got 8A's for PMR. She's proud of me but I didn't see her as happy as other parents. That just my observation. Whenever I asked her to bring me to Istanbul, a place that I always wanted to go... she asked me to work for the money on my own.. and she will say, 'Jannah is the best destination'. Am I hubbu dunya? Nauzubillah. Her advices always come through my mind, but I always fail to be a good daughter to a good mom.
InsyaAllah, from today, I will try my best to be a good daughter to my beloved mom for the sake of Allah & Muhammad SAW.
Dear mom, forgive me. I am here with so much shame for all the years I caused you pain. You are the sun that brightened my day and the one who wipes my tears away. Ya Rasulallah, please don't hate me. I will try my best to practice your sunnah. Ummuka, ummuka, ummuka, you've said. A thousand times I've tried and failed but for you I do it again a thousand times. Ya Allah, please help this sinful servant. Keep me in the right path. Keep me strong and keep me in Your guidance. Dear friends, pray for me. Your support is needed. Thank you.
May Allah bless our mom and grant her with jannah. Amin.
.jpg)
No comments:
Post a Comment